outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pain-induced psycopathic babbling 'Nother day, 'nother dollar. (siiiiiiiiigh) This job is so boring. I even took the plunge into the research I was working on some *cough* nine months ago, and since the program no longer wishes to obey my commands, even that isn't providing me with a function. I could call the guy who wrote the program, but that is not only admitting that I haven't touched the thing in so long I've forgotten how to use it, but also just one step beyond the amount of motivation I have right now. It was a big deal that I even *looked* at the research. God, I'm such a waste of space. I'm looking forward to Astrocamp just so I can feel validated as a human being, even if it does pay about a nickel a day. I never said I was in this for the money. Ah, but even California is up in the air these days, as I think about how frivolous a move it would be. Move three thousand miles away from the site of my wedding in the last six months of planning? Throw a wrench in my relationship with Rob in what will probably be the most stressful time of our lives to date? Abandon my high-paying but thoroughly worthless job for an exceedingly worthwhile one at a pittance at the very time we'll most need the money? What am I thinking?! If I wasn't very sure that the experience will be totally worth the hassle, I'd abandon all plans entirely. But for the time being, the good and the bad are weighing out equally, and I don't know what to do. However, I'm still planning on taking that trip west in the early fall to look over my options, both at Astrocamp and in grad school. And if I could set some of the details of this wedding in stone in the meantime, I'll be in a much better place. Ah well. What else is going on besides all my hemming and hawing about the future? My jaw is still throbbing but my cheeks look almost normal, so that's good. The work day's halfway over, so that's good (but it took soooo long to get to noon!). Ooh, and I got a call from the illustrious do-dolen last night, so you can all be jealous of that. The Mount Holyoke faction of Bio2 '00 had invited him up for their soiree this weekend, but since they had given him a scant 14 hour notice, he was not surprisingly unable to attend. Besides, they called his old number and ought to have realized that when it didn't even ring before sending them to voice mail. One half of the Smith faction of Bio2 '00 is getting married at the end of next month, so I'm hoping to see more of Bio2 '00 then. Sadly, it's looking like there will just be a few of us, but that's better than nothing. The whole Smith faction will be in attendance (that's the bride and one other person), but I haven't seen either member since September so it will be well worth the visit. And the super amazing thing is that the bride is only just graduating this month from college, so if she can be a senior (and a highly ambitious one at that) and plan a wedding all at once, I can surely pull off Astrocamp. Right? Shut up. Ah. I took my last dose of penicillin this morning, and I'm just finishing up the last of the fifteen yogurts I bought for the occasion. For the past few days I had upped my intake to two yogurt cups a day, out of pure necessity. Don't know what I'm talking about? You try having a vagina next time you're on antibiotics. By the by, to those in the know: that garlic thing didn't work. Or I did it wrong. But it was fun in any case. So was the yogurt experiment I tried. I would do it again, just for enjoyment. Gah. Since my cheeks have been all bloaty, I've been biting the insides more often when I try to chew. I am anti that. To Tara: I'm sorry! I thought you lived in Philly...and I don't know relative distances between the cities so I don't know if that's far from Pittsburgh or not. It never occurred to me to look up people I know while in town! But since it is, in fact, a fabulous idea, I'll be in Lansing and Chicago and Rochester briefly in another five weeks, if anyone's around! Fuckie fuck, just bit my cheek again. Why, oh why is there no. thing. to. do. Why, oh why is there nonnnnnne! Anyway. I would like to inform you, for the umpteenth time, that my teeth hurt. Also, my cheeks! Especially the insides, where I just bit them repeatedly. It's only one. Jesucristo, this week is gonna drag like a mofo. There is a half-empty can of pea soup on my desk. The problem is, it is not completely empty, and I cannot bear to throw away perfectly good food. Yet the can has no cover, a perfectly natural state of affairs for a can. So I'm fixin' to carry this can home in my hand in three hours. &*%$# three hours! Will this day never end? And my cookies taste like banana. But they are Vienna Fingers. Ok, you caught me, I'm eating lunch and am thus preoccupied with lunch-related topics. So sue me. I have a one-track mind. You're lucky I'm not still talking about my pain. And I would be, confound it, if I hadn't already exhausted that topic. Raq is such a cutie, you should all go look at her pictures. Especially her luscious lips. Someday, friends, I will put up pictures of me and my luscious lips, which are not really luscious, but do kinda have their own thing going on. Really. If I wasn't such a cheap ho I'd've already handed Andrew that juicy thirty dollar check, but I am that cheap ho, so what can I say. 12:27 p.m. - 2002-05-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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