outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- counter-amazement This is maybe the best bagel I've ever ever had. Ever. Woo hoo! An imaginary conversation between me and the people who wear walking shoes into work and then put on fancy shmancy shoes when they get there: Me: why do you do that? She: do what? Me: wear one pair of shoes to work and then put on another? She: these are comfortable walking shoes; I wouldn't want to walk across town in high heels. Me: if those (points to sneakers) are the shoes you want to wear, why don't you just wear them all day? She: oh, they're not proper business attire. And this is where I laugh. If you don't understand why, try working somewhere where everyone wears jeans and t-shirts, and whose idea of proper business attire includes pink sweater vests and/or slouch socks. God this is a good bagel. Ack. I'm already ruing the moment when I've finished it. Despite the fact that I have to lean way over and crunch my abs in an uncomfortable way to take a bite, I am taking bites as soon as the previous bite is swallowed. If that isn't a testament to its deliciousness, I know not what is. The more I learn about men, the more firmly convinced am I that Rob is the only one for me. It's so beautiful out today! When I first went out I thought it was beautiful but a bit too cold, but when I ran around and got warmed up I decided it was just plain beautiful. Only a short while ago I came to the oh-so-astounding realization that every place has a sky. Even rough gray cities where people spit on the sidewalk. If there is nothing else beautiful about a place, at least there is the sky. Have you ever noticed that the only way we can function is by subduing the inclination to be in utter awe of everything? If I took the care to be utterly awed by everything that gives me the merest flutter of awe in my day to day life, I suspect my life would be very brief somehow. But incredibly glorious. Like a short-lived massive star that bursts because it just can't handle itself anymore. So which is better? The short glorious life, or the long subdued life? The vast majority of us go for the subdued and functional life. To be fair, it is hard to focus on the mundane realities of survival when you're revelling in the amazing structure of ferns. I wonder if maybe it is a matter of survival to squelch that feeling. How can I avoid being hit by a car if I'm marvelling over it's speed and ingenuity? How can I get through school or keep down a job if I'm overwhelmed by the complexity of life? Very luckily for us, it is not impossible to have it both ways. You just have to have one way at a time. I have a very fond memory of me and Rob in the backyard (side yard, for sticklers) in Arizona, surrounded by friends all enjoying a peaceful and sunny afternoon. He and I were kneeling on a blanket with our noses to the ground, seeking out fantastical bugs and plants and poking in mysterious holes and looking like little kids. And we were amazed by all the little guys we found that we surely would not have noticed if we hadn't been looking. We wanted to be amazed. It was a matter of choice. My bagel is long gone now. (sigh) If you must know, and I would if I were you, it was a honey 9-grain bagel dying due to lack of air thanks to (that's smothered by, to you) cream cheese from Au Bon Pain. I mourne its loss, but I can still feel its effects. Best bagel ever. I jotted down some narratives for you guys (on paper!) while I was away from the computer a few days ago, but this entry is already long enough. Another time, perhaps. Ahh, the great thing about 1:30 on a Tuesday is that it doesn't mean I still have four and a half hours of work left. Which, incidentally, is how much sleep I got the night before last, but that's neither here nor there. I just now decided that the correct pronunciation of neither is nigh-ther, because that's how the Germans would say it. Actually, they would say it night-uh, but that is also neither here nor there. In addition, I shall still continue to pronounce it neether when it suits my purposes, which I almost just spelled perposes because I'm just that smart. 12:53 p.m. - 2001-10-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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