outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary

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shhh

Oops. I thought I had told you guys that I would be away yesterday for the funeral, but apparently I left that little detail out. So that's where I was. And that's why I feel so shitty right now. And also why I am almost certainly NOT going to be all sociable in Harvard Square tonight.

Sorry, Boston folk.

Suffice it to say, it was completely awful, yet also amazing. There were so many people there from my high school, kids of all ages, ranging from three school years ahead of me to four and five years behind me. The most amazing thing though, was that despite everything -- Conor bursting into tears over the coffin, three hours worth of weeping visitors, a hundred pictures of Zack at all ages -- Zack's family was completely composed. They weren't stony nor were they unfeeling; they were just completely calm, understanding, and...peaceful. Even the younger sister, about seventeen years old. I just wondered, and wonder still, what understanding they had come to, what consoled them. I know that it wasn't an act, and I also know that they aren't religious. What I don't know, is what they know, that I don't.

My head aches. I got home last night at about quarter past eight, and proceeded to oversleep this morning after forgetting to set my alarm (something I never do). I got in a little late this morning. I'll be leaving a little late as well, and then I'm going home, getting into bed, and starting to rework my memories so that I can forget how awful this week has been.

Not that that will work. But at least there will be Spongebob to distract me.

I don't know. I'd like to write it all out and describe it in detail, but I don't want to bum all you guys out. And I also don't want to relive it. Well, I will say this. The hardest moment for me, other than Conor's break down, was seeing Adam's younger brother walk in.

Ugh.

UGH.

Ok. For real now. I'd like to move on.

All right. There were more interesting and entertaining things that I wanted to tell you guys. For instance...did I tell you I have a pet now? I've inherited my sister's bird now that she's going away to college. Rob and I took it home on Sunday after all the parties, and its been noisily living its life on top of one of my bureaus ever since. It's a hilarious little creature. I'll inform you of its antics henceforth.

It goes by the name of Bird, as it was never properly named, and as far as I'm concerned, it is free of gender. Gender is a sociological concept, and seeing how it is not a true member of society, I think it shall remain unfettered by such a frivolous label. Besides which, I really can't tell. My sister insists it's a girl, but I'm telling you, she would even if it had a five inch phallous dangling over the perch. It's an oddly aggressive parakeet, which would suggest it's a male, but maybe it thinks it's a lioness and must hunt my fingers and stray strands of hair to feed its pride. I really don't know. I'm comfortable with "it".

The Sunday after the two parties I mentioned was yet another party, celebrating my grandmother's birthday. We were back at my parents' house again, cooking up more lobsters and steamers and recommuning with leftovers. AND. My uncle's parents ship a box of fresh California artichokes to my parents every year as, I guess, compensation for inviting them to the party. They are the best artichokes you've ever tasted in your life, and they make three different delicious sauces to dip the leaves in. The reason I am telling you this (other than the fact that I love to talk about the delicious things I eat) is that I was VERY DISTURBED that Rob did not partake in a choke. He claimed he was full. Yeah, so what, when has that ever stopped anyone from eating something delicious? He claimed he didn't even want to try one leaf. Have I told you this is THE BEST ARTICHOKE YOI WILL EVER EAT? Yet he wouldn't budge. I simply cannot understand why.

Maybe he saw a bug crawl out of the artichoke box and just didn't want to say anything.

My sister is moving into her dorm on Sunday, but I'll be working so I'll most likely miss all the festivities. Drat. But it's all right, because at the very least I'd like to go see Carmen on the Commons with her later in September. As ever, any Boston folk or Boston visitors are welcome to join me.

I'm very excited about it. Carmen is the opera all we Biosphere kids went and saw in Tucson, and it was really great. The one we saw was very minimalist: few props, simple costumes, bare stages. But it was still excellent, because you could focus on the music and the plot. I'd like to contrast it with the performance they'll be showing here in Boston.

Yay!

My head still hurts, but it's ok, it's ok.

11:15 a.m. - 2002-08-30

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