outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a smattering of grumblings, some untaping, and some plans

Mentally prepare yourselves for mean, mean things about Fedex/UPS/people whose job it is to bring me stuff:

You're stupid! When I say 113A, I do not mean 113, or 113 1/2, or something in the vicinity of 113A, I mean !!#A (that's 113A with the shift key held down)! Stupid, stupid, stupid heads! Give me my stuff!

God that felt good. I don't get that violent very often. Ooh, and I almost made a whole separate entry yesterday for the word violence. Because I think it's the most beautiful word in the English language, its meaning notwithstanding. If you can't get past the meeting, try imagining it as the word 'violins' with a slight accent. What the fuck, not the meeting, the meaning. Jesus. You guys are so brave for putting up with this crap.

Well, despite Fedex's reputation, well-deserved, for stupid-headedness, and their desire to leave my packages for my landlady, I did obtain the gifts I ordered for my aunt and my darling arroyo-mate. (aside: arroyo means gulley, but she was not my gulley-mate. She was my apartment-mate, and our apartment was called an arroyo. You just can't make stuff like this up.) I had decided to be super cool and have the gifts professionally wrapped before their delivery, but the obvious and quite foreseeable problem, which I did not foresee, was that when I got them I would be unable to tell what the bloody hell was inside. (I've been watching Absolutely Fabulous; can you tell?) So I spent a good half hour painstakingly slicing through the tape with a razor and delicately preserving the prefolds in the wrapping paper. I opened up the goods, and oh god, they were the cutest little things you ever did see. Warning to all ye who receive gifts from me: you may well be getting one of these next year because by golly, they're irresistible. I can't tell you what it was here, because KP may read this, but as a clue: tummy had a hand in this. He may not know it, but he did. It's a mystery, folks; go be Nancy Drews.

So anyway, after the unveiling, I got to rewrap the gifts in the previously creased paper, and it was so easy! It was like magic! Some of you may be huffing, wrapping gifts comes from the heart or some crap, but let me assure you, my gift-wrapping abilities lead one to believe that they come straight from my ass. Although the rewrapping with the cookie cutter paper was magical for me, it still wasn't perfect. For instance, the tape the original wrapper had used was discrete and clear and used in small amounts. The tape I used was somehow milkier and wrinkled and ended up being a garish grin upon the bright red paper. (sigh)

Flibbertigibbet. Flibberti flibberti flibbertigibet.

I actually looked that up in the dictionary before I wrote it here. That is my committment to correct spelling. Hold on, let me make sure I spelled commimttment right. Ahem. Commitment.

After a lovely long grace period, a new centipede showed up on my kitchen floor the other day. So now I'm back to having centipede-related nightmares, meaning that I spent a good portion of last night either dreaming that they were crawling on me or frantically sweeping my hand over my pillow and blankets and face to ensure that no foreign entities were there. And did I tell you what the exterminator said when he was here however long ago? "No centipedes found." Like I'm making this up? Trust me, buddy, I'm the one living here and there are fucking centipedes living here too.

Oh goodness, I swore.

I have a holiday goal. I intend to crochet three squares a day, a square being one portion of the afghan I'm making for my mother's birthday. I started the damn thing sometime over the summer, dropped it for about six months, lost some fraction of my work, but now I'm determined to make some headway. Doing the piecework is the most time-consuming bit. If I can have 42 squares (plus one or two because I think some of the early ones are in bad shape) by the first week of December, I can have them sewn together in two or three nights, then the border will probably take me another week...and I have until the 21st. I can do it. I have 22 or 23 squares right now. At my current rate I'll have 45 by next Monday, but realistically I'm guessing Wednesday. Have them sewn by the weekend, then have two weeks to do the border. Hell, I can do that.

(snoooooore) Stop that! This is important information! If the Grim Reaper comes up to you and asks "Tell me what Jessie is up to or DIE," you would be joyous to find that this is something you know, and you would owe me a great debt. But fear not, friends, because I accept gourmet food items and British Airways frequent flyer miles. You won't be hard-pressed to come up with ways to repay me.

9:02 a.m. - 2001-11-27

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

polarity
annanotbob2
atwowaydream
gomeny
planetpink
fa11
astralounge
shot-of-tea
banana3159
o-twinkle-o
sparkspark
evilyoyo
marn
teenmommie
graagh
shevdevil
nessa24601
idiot-milk
onepinksock
moonshine76
linguafranca
giallothang
friskyseal
annanotbob
leotard
trapeze-act
killsbury
plastroncafe
jwinokur
Andrew
seattle-rain
boombasticat
do-dolen