outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- das maedchen Antje I'm very disappointed in the silence following my last entry. No flaming in my guestbook, no "well you're right about *one* thing" notes, no emails, no NOTHING. I can't believe it. All I can conclude is that you were all too lazy to actually read the article. Shame on you. I realized some things. 1) I have a thing for foreign girls. German girls, specifically. I know this to be true, because I was thinking about it a moment ago and I could feel it. The thing. In my lap. 2) I am a prude when it comes to the way other people run their lives. I have no idea how that happened. I am very liberal when it comes to my life, but when other people start talking about the drugs they do, the people they do, the heights they throw themselves from, I completely balk. I can't understand this double standard. Well, yeah I can. I can control what I do, but I can't control what other people do. And I fear it will somehow be destructive to me and people I care about. Still, that's no excuse, and it's definitely not cool to come to the conclusion that you are an old granny in a 21-year-old body. I fully expect the automatic reaction that many of you will have to that -- "mmm, 21-year-old body" -- and yet I still feel that it's dirty. Is this my parents coming too close to living vicariously through me? I'm getting over what's been happening with me. Apparently, my recovery time for things of this nature is one day. I have mixed feelings about that. Daydreaming about my German girl. Sweet, sweet German girl. Oh, Antje! You have ruined me for all other nationalities! Remarkable thing, that, considering that she never gave me any encouragement and ultimately humiliated me utterly, but damn, I wanted that girl. German, German girl. I'll tell you the whole story, if you want it. But you're going to have to beg. 10:56 a.m. - 2001-11-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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