outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- all dressed up and nowhere to go I put on combat boots and a mini skirt last night. I put my hair up in pigtails. I danced around on my bed in front of the mirror, to check out the effect. Appraisal: not half bad. But not half good either, because I was looking all cute and there was no one to see it. I called Rob up to comfort me, but he was no help so I hung up on him. The good news is the not half bad portion, of course. I've been doing the jumproping for cardiovascular exercise, and loads of ab crunches and curls and manipulations to tighten my torso as much as possible (this is my problem area). I was walking down the hall at work today and I noticed, my body feels like it's holding itself together better. Or something. It feels like I'm less of a gob of amorphous goo lately. Like my muscles have decided to tie themselves in with my bones and organs and make me into the erect human being I should be. Or something. Back to the entry we were all shafted of yesterday. About my teeth and southern Ontario and so on. I had two dentist's appointments in the past two days. I was scared into flossing by the hygienist, and scared about having my wisdom teeth removed, and scared about all my bone eroding, but there was goodness had as well. This being, the cleaning. It hurt, but...now I want a straight answer to this. Does anyone else enjoy mild tooth pain, or is it just another symptom of my oral fixation? Because my teeth were under great stress and I was bleeding all over the place, but I was enjoying it. It felt good. Still, wisdom teeth removal, not too happy about that. What with the horror stories and general feeling of fear exuding from other woeful wisdom tooth extraction participants, I feel I am justified in being scared shitless, I thank you very much. I have an appointment in mid-April, but I'm not allowing any pulling to take place until I'm back from my vacation. Screw being drugged up *and* sea sick. Let's see. Ah yes, the mysterious choice of southern Ontario as a locale to which to escape. This had to come out sooner or later...Fly Away Home thoroughly chokes me up. That movie with the little girl who loses her mom and moves to Canada and raises a flock of baby geese who lost their mom? Yeah, that one. I think I've seen it no fewer than twenty times, and I still think that that portion of southern Ontario where it was filmed is the most beautiful place I've ever seen, and don't anyone tell me otherwise. It's this little idealized vision I have in my mind, that I never intend to verify with reality. I like just knowing it's there, the way I see it in my mind. Incidentally, my choice of Mary Chapin Carpenter, although I hardly know and never really liked any of the Carpenter's work, also originated from the movie. She sings the song that plays as Amy and the geese fly over Chesapeake Bay. It's a lovely, sad, moving song. I don't even care that lonesome dove is an overused poetic cliche. Maybe it wasn't back then. My taxes? Does anyone really care about that? All I said about them was that I had just bought Rob two new video games, to repay him for repaying his father in Dunkin Donuts coffee, for doing my taxes. See us as we barter with goods. But I want my tax return. How long has it been since I sent in those taxes? I'm three hundred dollars behind this month, because of the cruise. I'd like to get back up to zero, thank you. What's next...new sandals. I bought two ridiculously priced, but very nice, pairs of sandals for my trip, with the money it would have cost me to have my teeth done, if I didn't have such FABULOUS INSURANCE from my FABULOUS JOB. In other news, I've been looking at new jobs. More on this story after I've finished my obligatory recreation of my lost entry. Lack of sex on certain days, for Greg's sake. All he ever responds to is any mention I make of sex ;) Anyway, that's right, I didn't have sex yesterday, or the day before, and I shant have sex today. Why, because I only get Rob on weekends and Mondays, and I can't/refuse to/shant have sex without him (at least with a guy). Therefore, I remain celibate for these days. Fascinating, I know. The "good" thing? I never did write that out in the old entry. It came from my tortuous ponderings on a quote from George Washington, who I was going to introduce to you as my good friend, who was neither my friend nor good. Then I started wondering who I *would* describe as good. And I couldn't come up with anybody, because my standards for goodness are too high. Pretty revealing, right. The quote was "It's better to be alone than in bad company." Well, duh. Anyone who's ever been 11 and in the care of an elderly aunt knows that. Now I'd like to enlist your assistance. Will you please read Li Jie's diary and think if there's anything you can say to him? He started writing to me because of our shared interest in astronomy, which has been great, but I just don't know if there's anything more I can say to convince him that killing himself is not the right thing to do. I need your help. Li needs your help. I'm running out of ideas. What's new on the job front? Tons. Newly-revised plan: 1) bide my time and money until December 2) apply to grad school at the U of A 3) apply for a job as a camp counselor at Astrocamp in California 4) get the damn job, and work there from January to June 5) move to Arizona in June 6) start grad school in September 7) get married in October It could work, right? Astrocamp is this awesome place where teachers bring their students for a three to five day educational adventure, how fabulous is that? I'll be the girl who runs the telescope in the mountains and teaches young kids about astronomy. I'm in love. There now, I think this entry is long enough for Geri's coffee break. Smooches! 10:51 a.m. - 2002-03-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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