outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The swing of things So...anyway. I don't know why things have to become so dramatic at times in this household. What it seems to boil down to at moments like this (which are becoming more rare, thank heavenly beegees) is "I've fucked up, you better break up with me now" versus "what the fuck, why aren't you fixing what went wrong?" There are many fucks involved, but sadly, not the good kind. And that is all I want to say about that right now. It breaks my spirit, and I don't like my spirit broken, so I'm going to hide it in a dark place until it's healed again. Smells like Teen Spirit. Actually it smells like ammonia, which is the smell you get when you've burned through your sugar fuel and are now burning your proteins. Did you know that? I did not! I fear that smell - not because I'm so very attached to my muscles, but because I would much prefer to be a lot less attached to my fat. Or have it be a lot less attached to me. I don't think my body eating its own muscles is quite the surefire way to achieve that end. Would you laugh if you found out I got a Neckline Slimmer for Christmas - and am using it faithfully 2 minutes every day? And that it really kicks my ass? Good; the world needs more laughter. (doing it right now. damn it's hard. probably haven't experienced this level of neck fatigue since I was an infant.) I don't feel like being cheerful. I feel like being sad and quiet and just getting things done until the day is through. Sub lecturing to 100 students tomorrow, and I haven't taught in almost a year. Should be...whatever. 1:47 p.m. - 2010-02-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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