outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- neck blows bubble, part two You guys rock my world. Much to discuss right now, from your guestbook entries. Let's see. Sarah and Fae both expressed the same questions I had. Sarah writes, "I've had the same questions for years. I'm an athiest myself and I too can't remember how or why I stopped believing in God. I remember as a child wanting to go to church but never feeling comfortable there. Man, you've given us lots to think about! I like what Greg says at the end of his entry." More on what Greg said later. Check out Sarah's latest entry for more on her thoughts. Last night after I had turned out the lights before I bed, I remembered with urgency that I needed to find my old diary. I dug it out of my "bedside table", which is really a big tupperware bin, and became so engrossed in reading it that I accidentally stayed up till midnight. I listened to younger Jessie tell me stories about me. And I did find in there, why she gave up on religions. It's not so mysterious as I thought; in fact, it was for the exact same reasons I don't believe in religion now. In her words, "religions are a crock." I still believe that, but I don't *say* that anymore. It's none of my business what other people want to believe (unless they MAKE it my business, grrr). Anyway, back to the topic. I had just turned 15, and, as I recalled, much of this was stemmed by the religious "education" kids of that age were subjected to in the Catholic faith: CCD. It was the final years, the build up to confirmation. I was a little fucked in the head, as an endemic number of young teenagers are. There's a whole entry about my NEEDING to believe in God, about knowing I didn't believe it but HAVING to because I didn't know what I would do without it. It's very interesting. Especially because eventually, I stopped "needing" it and discarded it forever. Take that for what it's worth; I see it as personal growth. Back to our discussion. Fae says, "wow jessie, i drive myself crazy with the same thoughts! i am non-beleiver, no not an athiest, because "who really knows?" not me! I do beleive in big bang and evolution, but as you stated "What came before?" something had to be before....will we ever know? i doubt it!" Yes, I agree. If it were even possible for us to ever EVER know, I think it would take about a billion years of evolution, and I don't think our species has that kind of time in us. And then again, I don't even know if "what came before" is the kind of thing that can be known at all. It may be a moot point, somehow. Kind of like, "what color would the sky be if it wasn't blue?" You can think about that all you want, and come up with any number of answers to it, but none of them could ever be meaningful. So too, I suspect, with "what came before the universe?" Plastron came out with an idea I also once subscribed to; now, I don't know. "What came before the Divine-Big Bang? Why a previous Big Crunch, of course. All things work in cycles. Even the Universe." There you go with the "of course"s again. Darling, just because you believe it, don't make it so ;) It is a valid suggestion, that the universe is constantly involved in recreating itself, and many scientists have and do believe it. It's a nice thought, because the lifetime of the universe becomes a sine wave: out, in; out, in; out, in; always in flux. That doesn't really address the beginning though, does it? At some point (maybe "point" is a bad choice of word) something must have triggered this. And assuming this has been going on all along, it will end with us. Because as the universe goes right now, as far as I know (which isn't very far), it looks like it will end in a big chill; it doesn't have enough energy to pull itself back together. Eventually, it will dissipate until it no longer has any kinetic energy, will stop expanding, and freeze. This is common understanding right now. And if the universe is cyclical, what makes this particular cycle unique? Why did this big bang produce more kinetic energy than any previous, so that it would have to end here? Whoo! New thoughts. I'll try not to lose you here. Dampening. Dampening is what happens to a wave -- for instance, a sound wave -- as it hits interference and is forced to slow down. No physical system is perfect; there is always friction, air resistance, magnetic fields, entropy, etc. Your system is always going to lose energy somehow (although this is hard to reconcile with our picture of the universe, which by definition ought to be a closed system). So if the universe acts like a sine wave, moving in cycles, that wave ought to be dampened over time, eventually dying out at time equals infinity. Arg. But then, you don't have sine waves appearing out of nothing. We still have that little conservation of energy law to abide by. I don't know. I fear I've lost most of you at this point, so I'll get back to your thoughts. Greg took this to a philosophical level; a logical place for it to go. "I don't know exactly. To me everything has to have a beginning a middle and eventually a end. To me both are equally likely, which came first the universe or god? Its a shot in the dark. It sounds weird hearing of a explosion coming out of no where but its equally unlikely that a all powerful omnipresent being has existed for all time and space. If so why us why even bother? I can't give you the answer but I can give you a solution of sorts. Some questions were not meant to be answered only pondered. If we knew everything then what would be the point of living. It would be boring and pointless. Don't ponder where the product came from just ponder what it does." You have a point there. Several, in fact. The universe arriving out of nothing, and the universe being created by The God Of All Time do sound equally ridiculous. Yet surely we can agree that *something* must have happened, right? Not necessarily any of the things we've thought of, but surely something. And some questions really weren't ever meant to be answered. Such as, "Jessie, what would your name be if I were an Eskimo?" Bad example, strike that from the record. However, questions were meant to be asked, if that makes any sense. If we stop asking the questions that drive us nuts, THEN life will be boring and pointless. We love to learn; we want to know; we are never content to non-know things that can be known. As for dealing with the universe we know, rather than dreaming up a universe we can't -- that I think is the quote of the day. Yes. We have no lack of mysteries right here before us. We have no lack of capacity to love, be happy, and gain inspiration from the world around us. Or maybe that's not what you were saying at all. :) I cut my hair on Sunday. I'll give you a moment to doctor the whiplash that lack of segue gave you. Tara, you can come down any time. Soon it will be warm again, soon we'll have picnic weather again. Promise. If you have a moment to eat bologna sandwiches and pudding in Boston Commons, count me in. I'm hungry. Time to toast my bagel. 8:54 a.m. - 2002-04-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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