outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary

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up and out

There's love in the air. Something feels beautiful and wonderful and wise.

Or it could be my hormones. Or both!

I've written a couple mental letters today. To whit:

Dear undergrads,

You won't be young forever.

Love,
Your future
(i.e. fat, old, and poor)

Touching, no? Also this one, which is somewhat nicer - well no, but a bit more victorious:

Dear Jessie from this morning who forgot my lunch at home,

Suck it! You thought you were so smart grabbing the wrong lunch bag, but I went to the student union and got me some falafel and sweet potato fries, so the joke's on you, stupid! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Love,
Jessie from the present who is eating a tasty lunch

Speaking of letter-writing, I approached my peeps this morning to solicit letters of recommendation for a new job I'm applying to. IN NEBRASKA. I don't know what the hell makes me think I could be happy in Nebraska, but I'm ignoring the red flags and plunging headlong into a complete application. I know I got pretty close on the last couple of jobs I applied for (but failed to obtain, soul-crushingly) so I think I have a decent chance. It means not going through with my brilliant plan to pursue yet another bachelor's degree at this god-forsaken institution, but there's little to nothing wrong with that. And if this job goes kaput, I still have that plan. God-forsaken yay though it may be. I love working with students, and if that means I have to be one of them for a while longer, so be it. Though I would rather be paid for it...

G and I just got back from Paris this last week, and it was fantastic. Sure, we were grumpy sometimes, but we only got into one fight (over toilet paper) but it blew over soon enough (after more toilet paper was procured). Poor G was in pain for much of it, and is sick now that we're back, but I think she got out of it what she wanted (i.e. some pictures of the Eiffel Tower and some memories of the Louvre). I got out of it what I wanted too (lots of gloriously fattening French food, and the sight of G's previously-grumpy face breaking out in a huge smile when she first saw the Tower light up with sparkles at night). I was tickled pink by the whole trip (she says while shooing under the rug all the memories of frustration and exasperation of the little things that went wrong all over). I'd be back there in a heartbeat, if I could, and if I didn't realize that the grass always seems greener when you don't have to really live in a place.

I think our next vacation will be to Florence. Or Cork. Or maybe London. Or Luxembourg! Sigh, but probably not for several more years.

Meanwhile, I am slowly plodding along on my dissertation, only not plodding, plotting. I've been reading lots of new things, inspiring things, things that make me feel like I'm not alone in my endeavors but which also hold me accountable to high standards. I know I'm on thin ice thanks to ignoring my committee for many many months, but I don't care. When the time comes, I am prepared to defend my ideas until they see what I see. I think.

And I am grading right now. Getting things done. This is a good thing.

12:33 p.m. - 2011-03-22

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