outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Status: Stasis I don't know what to say. This is why I'm still writing a dissertation, four years running, right? But it is easy to be grateful for your life when your life is full of grate. I wonder how I'll feel about this time in my life when I look back on it from the future. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll find my current anxiety about how much I'm always working and how busy I am to be laughable in retrospect. I miss Tucson dearly, and even though I felt, at the time, that I rarely saw them, I miss my friends. I surely see them a lot less often now. If we can barely keep ourselves upright in these times, I can't imagine how we'd fare if we had a couple of kids underfoot. Am I exhausted now? You ain't seen nuthin, sucker! Not that my status is likely to change in the very near future. Alas. Incidentally, a proposed measure to repeal the same-sax marriage ban in Nebraska didn't make it to the ballot this year. Frustration. I am loathe to start a family until I can be sure that both G and I will have legal rights to our children, regardless of how they originate. Progress in this direction has been very slow. I know any progress at all is a step in the right direction, but let me remind you that my eggs keep getting older as we wait. Oh, also, we are poor. Not very poor; maybe lower middle class or upper lower class. ? I don't really know what the break down is, but I think the fact that we're both educated puts us out of lower class by default. Or not. Whatever, we don't have enough money. I look back on the days when I had a paltry $5000 student loan with envy. But hey, I still have that old $5000 student loan! Why oh why did I not pay it off when I had the funds? Dummy. I keep thinking that the days when our finances will be flush are just around the corner, but that may be wishful thinking. I think we'll be knocked for a wicked loop once all G's loans come a-knockin after her grace period, but then I'll be making more money if I ever do finish this dissertation. Not hugely more, but maybe enough to make a dent in our vast(ish) debt. I finished reading lit for this beast not that long ago! I am on the verge of finishing my lit review chapter. Except for the fact that, as ever, I continue to avoid doing so. It's just, like, too hard, man. 7:59 p.m. - 2012-09-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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