outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary

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thanks for your note...

Well, tryste, you don't have a guestbook, and your diary is password protected, so this is the only way I can thank you! And I do! To answer your romeoesque question, nay, I do not fear more that someone will leave me, than die on me. Think I should? I have no fear that Rob will leave me, as a matter of fact. Maybe that's overly complacent, but to be honest, it never crossed my mind. Nor does it cross my mind to leave him. It is this complacency, this comfort, that causes the possibility of its removal to be so frightening.

Or maybe it's this. If Rob left me, for some reason or other, I know how I would feel. Angry. Spiteful. Bitter. Sad. And, conversely, I know how I would feel if I lost him permanently. Lost. Overwhelmed. Countering excruciating and unhealing pain. Unable to face my future. And fuck if that isn't a good deal worse.

3:32 p.m. - 2002-03-01

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