outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ebb and flow I can't figure out how to work this damn html. What color is all my stuff now? I think working on a Sun machine severely limits my ability to see web pages in full microsofty color. Oh geez, I've got a water spot at the foot of the V of my V-neck shirt. Like any *more* attention needs to be drawn to that area. I should try to master this foolish water bottle. It thwarts me at every turn. Is it so hard to design a cap that is either decidedly open or decidedly closed? Yesterday I went into the Blockbuster with spotty pants because the bottle leaked in my backpack, which was on my lap. Ok, that was my own fault. I knew the stupid bottle was leaking, yet I failed to remove the bag from my person. I think I might be getting a rep in Blockbuster. Every time I go in there, I rent another lesbian-romance-themed movie. Except for last night, because they didn't have But I'm a Cheerleader in stock. Had to rent Dude, Where's my Car? instead. No, didn't have to, but have you ever gone into Blockbuster cold, no movie in mind, with another person? Practically impossible to come up with something. Dude, Where's My Car? was the best Rob and I could do. I'm an astronomer. Rob is my fiance. My parents don't speak to me. I live alone in Cambridge, MA. I like boys and girls. We should go over these things, right? I have no idea who I'm talking to, but that's no reason that the person I'm talking to shouldn't have an idea about me. That oughta get you started. Every so often, more often than not, I'll be hit by a dreamy dream of Arizona...the smell of desert plants baking in the sun...holding hands with Eve...the look of the sunset across the mountains...the peace of the stars late at night...all the memorable moments shared with friends... But then I have to snap out of it because that stuff is gone, gone, gone and I really have to deal with that. Looking at me, you'd never know any of that stuff had happened. It's like it never did. As the years go by, it will be no more real than a book I've read or a movie I've seen. Won't it? Oh come on, that's not true. It was the best time of my life to date! It was four whole months of pure memory-making. Besides that, I made the memories with other people, who I still know and who will still be there as life unfolds. Right? These things will never fade away. 11:03 a.m. - 2001-08-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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