outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the beginning of the end Is this an abusive relationship, and if so, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Am I still a good person? Is it me, or is it not-me? Where do I turn? I don't know why I am so frequently the recipient of an unjustified amount of rage and vengeance, nor why there is absolutely nothing I can say or do that can deflect it. I don't know why the one who supposedly loves me is trying to systematically break me down and destroy me. I don't know why she digs into me in areas where she knows it will hurt the most. Why would someone do that? And why, when it is so clear that she has shattered me and I am crumbled into nothing, does she not let up? One thing I do know, and that is why I put up with it, and why, I believe, countless others put up with their abusers too: because the abuse isn't all the time. It isn't even most of the time. It's only every once in a while, and we persist in believing that if the other person could just be made to understand how much damage they do with these occasional onslaughts, things will get better. Next time it won't be so bad, and eventually it will go away altogether. How foolish. It can't go on like this...can it. 12:35 a.m. - 2009-03-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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