outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- drifting I could sure stand to feel good again. I'd like to have a sex life again. We never have sex. Almost never. Two weeks ago it was Valentine's Day, and when was the most recent time we had sex? Maybe four or five weeks ago. And it wasn't even satisfactory. Hell, I'd like to even have a love life again. Haven't had more than five words from G in over a week. No idea why. She's pissed, but hasn't clued me in as to why. Very unkind. I'd like to have a life outside of work. Something to come home to besides TV and maybe a book. [Incidentally, until a second ago that read "a work outside of life." I didn't realize I'd typed it that way. Hm.] I'm not asking for much here. Simple pleasures. Something to give me a reason to keep going. I work all the time, I'm tired all the time, I'm in despair too often. I'm getting nowhere. Maybe I need to make some friends? Too bad I've always sucked at that. I'm 32 now, and I can count on one hand the number of kindred spirits I've found in my lifetime. I've had other friends too, and I love them all dearly, but that soul-to-soul connection is rare, and I've lost it every time I've had it. The people who challenge you, support you, share common experiences with you, they are immeasurably valuable, but they're not the ones I'm talking about. It's the ones who are so close to you they are almost a mirror of your own personality, who by their very nature understand you, who are thrilled when you're thrilled and sad when you're sad and mad when you're mad. Maybe what I'm looking for is myself. 3:33 p.m. - 2012-02-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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