outer-jessie's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the horrible things we do to the ones we love I am an asshole. I hit her and hurt her and she cried and she ran and I hate myself and hate myself and hate myself. She is ok, and she will forgive me in time, but if I ever raise my hand to her again I hope it strangles me instead. That is over. That is never happening again. I was so scared. I don't deserve to have her back unharmed. I should have walked myself to jail, if I even knew where it was. And now we're going on vacation, again, and I just hope to be baptized and washed clean by the fog by the ocean. That's all. No consolations please. Let me drown in the bitterness of guilt and regret in the hopes of being redeemed. In a non-Christian sense of course. I feel like my anger betrayed me and is now an entity unto itself. No I don't. I feel ugly. I am horrified. 12:15 p.m. - 2009-08-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||